I miss everything about her
by gilcrust
Summary: She, the human, Analee was the most beautiful thing I, the soul, Glows with embers had ever seen. In that moment there was nothing I wanted more than her. "She is MINE," Growled the angry voice and I knew immediately that I was no longer alone in this body. Melanie,Jared,Analee,and Caleb find themselves unconvetional lovers in an unconventional situation. Warning Polygamy.
1. She is mine

(Prologue)

"I think tomorrow we should go look for other humans, I know there's got to be others like us. Maybe they even know of a place more discrete." Caleb spoke gently letting his callused hand run along the exposed skin of his lover's back.

"What if there aren't anymore. What if we're the last ones?" She challenged, lifting her head from his chest to meet his blue eyes with her green ones.

"Well I'm ok with that too, you and me against the world baby," He smiled in return. "You know if you were one of them I would still want to be with you or your body and whoever, whatever was inside it. Because being close to any part of you would hurt less than being away from you completely. Is that selfish?"

"Extremely so but I can't say I wouldn't do the same," Analee chuckled flipping her waist length blonde curls over her pale shoulder.

"That's not technically cheating is it, I mean don't get me wrong I love what's on the inside but damn babe your body is…delicious and I doubt I could keep my hands off it."

"You're sick," she scoffed rolling her eyes. In reality her body was far from perfect, she stood only an inch shorter than him at 5'11. Wearing size 16 clothes, even the constant running and shortage of food had done little to slim her down. Her curvy figure was accented with D-Cup breasts, a full heart shaped face, thick black lashes, plump pink lips, and ample ass. He lifted her chin to kiss her meaningfully.

"Analee, don't think about tomorrow, all that matters is this moment right now." He pleaded.

"What if this is the last moment we ever get together?"

"I'm ok with that."

"Well I'm not," she replied, tears welling up in her jade eyes. "I love you too much."

"I know."

"Though my love is rare, though my love is true. I'm like a bird, I'll only fly away. I don't know where my soul is, I don't know where my home is." Analee sang from the passenger seat, her voice could be described as nothing but angelic. She was younger in this memory, 16 maybe with straight hair and dark eye make-up. Holding a cigarette between her fore and middle fingers, occasionally inhaling and flicking ashes out of the unroofed jeep.

"You really shouldn't be smoking." Caleb chastised her reaching over the middle console to snatch it from her fingers.

"No! I need it!" She screeched in protest.

"Why? Each one of those cancer sticks takes seven minutes off your life."

"I told Christian I like him."

"That's good right?"

"Yeah till he reminded me that I look like a beached whale in front of the entire soccer team."

"That's not true."

"You have to say that, you're my best friend."

"I said it because I meant it, I think you're perfect and so, so beautiful." He whispered pulling the car to a stop in the middle of the dirt road near their neighbor's corn field.

"What are you doing?" She asked in a breathy voice as he leaned closer.

"Can I kiss you?"

She merely nodded with wide eyes as their lips met for the first time sending a shock of electricity through both of them.

"I'm in love with you Analee, I have been for years." He confessed.

"I love you too," she panted pulling him back to her for a series of sensual kisses.

"Let's go."

"Where?"

"Into the field, where no one can see us."

"Ok," she giggled jumping out of the car and racing after him into the stalks. "Caleb?" she called no longer able to see him.

"Hey baby," he muttered sneaking up behind her and wrapping his arms her waist and pulling her onto the soil.

- Then suddenly the memory ended catapulting me into an entirely different one. This time Analee had to be in her very late teens or early twenties, I assume she wasn't much older now. This was his last memory of her only it wasn't just her, there was another girl around the same age, Melanie was much thinner with brown hair and hazel eyes. Accompanying her was an older man in his mid-twenties with dirty blonde waves and almost golden eyes, Jared. "Oh thank god," Analee breathed pulling them both into an embrace.

"Told you we'd be back," Mel laughed pushing a blonde curl behind Analee's ear.

"You know how she worries," Caleb snorts as the brunette saunters toward him, leaning up on her toes and planting a chased kiss on his lips.

"I'm sorry babe, let me make it up to you," Jared smirked devilishly while kissing down his voluptuous lover's neck.

"Ok," she breathed lulling her head back to rest on his broad shoulder.

"Don't be a hog Jare, I want some Ana lovin too," Melanie said tangling her hands in Analee's hair and sealing their slightly chapped lips together in a passionate kiss. Before long the four of them were completely naked, falling back onto the bed Caleb and Jared watched the girls, Analee cupped Melanie's breast, working her nipples between her thumb and forefinger until they pebbled beneath her touch. Despite their mutual love for the girls Jared and Caleb never engaged in anything sexual. Delicate fingers found their way to the apex of Analee's smooth thighs where they brushed against her cleft causing her to mewl softly. She, the human, Analee was the most beautiful thing I, the soul, Glows with the embers had ever seen. In that moment there was nothing I wanted more than her.

"She is MINE," Growled the angry voice and I knew immediately that I was no longer alone in this body.

(Present day Analee's POV)

Kyle, Ian, and Jeb immerged from the entrance of the cave with a familiar feminine figure trailing behind them. "Melanie?" I breathe and tears spring to my eyes, I try to sprint toward her but Jared steps in front of me. Before I can comprehend what is happening he backhands her so hard she falls to the ground.

"We have to get rid of it Jeb," he speaks in a cold distant tone.

"No you can't," I protest.

"Analee go wait in our room," he replied sternly as he often did when danger was nearby.

"Jared-"

"I said go," he cut me off.

I took off running, I didn't care where just away from him, away from her, away from anyone I loved enough to break my heart. In times like these I missed Caleb more than ever.


	2. Now you know I will do anything

(A/N: This is my first time writing a Host fanfic and it's been a while since I read the book and I probably will reread it soon but I did just see the movie so I'm sorry if some of the characters are OOC.)

(Wanda's POV)

I stared out the arch of the cave to look at Jared; he has been giving me the same disgusted look since I woke up.

"You can't tell him Wanderer, he won't believe us," Melanie warns so I clench my jaw and turn away from him. "Ana knows, I seen her face. She knows I'm in here."

"I thought I told you to stay away from it," Jared growls at the blonde.

"I thought you were getting rid of her. She looks pretty alive to me." She counters flopping down next to him on the stone floor.

"Only because Jeb wouldn't let me."

"I knew you couldn't do it. You love her too much."

"No I _loved_ her too much, that thing isn't Melanie. She's gone and she's never coming back, you can hate me all you want but at some point we all have to accept that."

"So what now?" Analee wondered leaning her head onto his shoulder.

"Now we watch, make sure it can't escape to go tell the others where to find us."

My body lunges forward slightly with an overwhelming need to protect her.

"They said she was out there by herself, over twenty miles from the nearest road. Was she trying to kill herself or was that all part of the plan?" She replies sarcastically.

"You're overthinking it just like they want you to. I'm sure it told everything Mel knew about me and you, even Jamie. Imagine all the information they got out of Caleb."

"Don't," she pleaded. "I'm going to take a bath, you're welcome to come." She winked at him recovering gracefully from his comment.

"She's not fine," Melanie broke her brief silence. "She hasn't been since he left."

"What happened to him?"

"I assume other souls got him, we never found a body or anything he just left one day and never came back or maybe he had a successful suicide attempt but I guess we'll never really know."

"Hey kids, I'll take the next watch," Jeb appeared as if on cue.

"Sure baby," Jared agreed to accompany her no longer having an excuse not to. "Come on." He swatted her behind and she giggled sauntering off happily down the tunnel.

"I'm glad they have each other." Melanie said longingly.

"Aren't you ever jealous?"

"No I love them, they deserve to be happy. But sometimes I do wish for her kiss, his caress as more than just a memory."

"I don't understand these feelings, how can you love more than one person at a time?"

"I expected to fall for Jared but I didn't mean to love her I just couldn't help it." Then I was catapulted into another memory.

"Ok I'm going to check the bedrooms for clothes, you get the fridge." Jared says and I entered the kitchen of the small trailer and there she was. A mess of blonde curls in a plaid button up shirt that exposed her pink butterfly panties as she bent down to look in the refrigerator. I stood watching her unable to move as she turning to face me holding a carton of milk.

"Caleb!" She screamed dropping the milk and grabbing the butcher's knife off the counter.

"Shhh," Melanie scolded.

"Stay back." Analee threatened.

"I'm not here to hurt you, we're just looking for supplies, some food, clothes, maybe some soap or shampoo."

"Show me your eyes."

"Of course," Melanie lifted the flashlight to her face.

"Human," Analee replied breathlessly placing the knife back on the counter and stepping closer to Mel.

"Sorry, I got held up, or should I say attacked by this gorilla juice head," Caleb teased entering the room followed by Jared.

"I said I was sorry man, I thought you were one of them and besides you busted my lip so I don't feel too terrible." Jared retorted.

"Oh god, here," Analee offered him a bag of frozen peas for his lip.

"Well when you fall asleep naked with a girl and wake up with a strange man on top of you you tend to ask questions second."

"Now that we've met I believe a proper introduction is in order."

"I'm Analee and this is Caleb," she motioned toward him.

"Melanie, Jared."

"Are you guys from around here?"

"Actually we live about twenty minutes away."

(Analee's POV)

I sink into the warm water and listen to it lap gently at Jared's toned body.

"Are you ok?" He asked after a few moments of silence.

"Yeah I'm fine," I lie continuing to wash myself.

"I'm sorry."

"I know."

"Don't be angry."

"I'm not."

"Please, I can't lose you too."

"You won't I just, shouldn't have asked you here. I think what I really need is to be alone."

"Sure just let me finish washing up then I'll leave you to it."

"Thank you," I sighed in relief, right now all I wanted was Caleb. I loved Jared and Mel but Caleb offered a sense of home and stability that neither of them could. I guess the only way to explain it is I loved them all differently. Jared was my rock, Mel was my fantasy, but Caleb was my glue and after almost a year without him I was finally starting to fall apart.

"I can't stop think about Melanie. I miss everything about her and I would do anything to get her back. So don't ever think you're alone in this because I know exactly how you feel." He confessed.

"We found another one." Ian interrupted just as I was leaning in to kiss Jared. I quickly towel off and redress racing out to the main hall.

"Wait," Jared called after me but I couldn't stop, I had to know if it was Caleb. I had to know if he was here.


	3. Long division

(Glows with the ember's POV)

She charged toward me in a worn blue sweater and faded jeans, jumping up she wrapped her legs around my waist, hands tangling in my hair as her full lips met mine. "Oh sweet girl," Caleb sighed at the familiar contact.

"Caleb I love you, please tell me you can hear me. Please tell me you're still there."

"What do I do?"

"Tell her I hear her, tell her I love her."

"He loves you too." I whisper into her thick hair.

"Get off her," Shouted a male voice from behind us.

"Jared," Caleb informed me as I turned to face him placing Analee on her feet.

"Come here." Jared demanded but she stayed planted in that spot reaching down to twine our fingers together. "Analee." Still she didn't move, his jaw clenched and his nostrils flared but his eyes were not angry, they were desperate. "Please," he added. She gave me one last soft kiss before going to stand next to him.

"I'm going to the kitchen to help with lunch." Analee said brushing past him.

"That wasn't for you, it was for me. She loves me, she is MINE." Caleb barked.

"So you keep reminding me." I sigh.

(Jared's POV)

I strip off my sweater and jeans and crawl into bed in only my boxers and beater.

"Are you sleeping?" Analee whispered after lying in silence for over an hour.

"No, are you," I tease.

"Yes," she smiles in return.

"Then why are you talking?"

"Maybe you're dreaming about me."

"Well if that were true we'd be doing more than just talking," I smirk.

"Oh really," she quirks an eyebrow. "What do you dream about us doing?"

"Lots of things."

"Will you show me?" She hinted playfully leaning up on her elbow.

"I guess I could if you really want."

"I do."

I attacked her mouth almost violently; since Caleb and Melanie went missing our "sexy time" was few and far between. Not that we didn't enjoy each other because we certainly do but with that kind of closeness there is extreme loss. I'm not sure how many people that I love I can lose before I lose myself.

"Jared, condom," she groans in between sloppy kisses while using her toes to push my boxers off. In the ten seconds it takes for me to locate the foil packet babygirl is completely stripped and ready for me.

"So beautiful," I murmur kneeling between her legs and sliding on the condom. I slip a finger into her wet entrance and she lets out a strangled moan.

"Please," she whines pushing my beater over my head. I ease myself into her, she's always so fucking tight I trail kisses down her neck. "Yes!" she nearly shouts, the sound echoes in the dark room but she doesn't even notice.

"Shh, baby," I warn nipping at her ear, when I pull away to look at her she is biting her lip so hard I'm sure it wasn't far from breaking skin in her attempt to stay quiet. I will her to release it by tugging on it gently with my fingers.

"Harder," she pleaded and I listened bucking my hips wildly against hers until she her walls constricted around me and we lost ourselves in each other.

(Analee's POV)

Jared is curled tightly against my back in our post coital bliss. "What are you thinking?" He wondered aloud as I toy with his masculine fingers.

"What if I'm right?"

"About what?"

"Mel and Caleb."

"If it was that easy that we could just take those things out and everyone we've ever lost would come back like they were never gone why wouldn't someone have figured that out already?"

"Most people can't see it and you won't listen to those of us who can but I can see it Jared, I see it so clearly. Just think about it, promise me you'll think about it." I plead.

"Ok baby," he yawned either too content or too tired to argue. "There's something I want you to think

about too."

"Sure."

"Well Maggie said something earlier about repopulation."

"I thought you said Maggie was crazy?" I tease.

"She is." He laughed darkly, "but she was also right."

"I think it's a good idea."

"You do?! Wow that was easy I thought you would say no."

"Are you kidding? Of course I think Lily and Wes should start trying for kids."

"No I didn't mean them...I meant us. I want us to start trying for a baby."

"A baby?" I shout in disbelief.

"Yes Analee a baby."

"You didn't poke a hole in the condom did you?"

"No." He smirked.

"Ok well...wow a baby. You and I could have a baby." The thought seemed impossible the wrap my head around.

"So?" He pressed for an answer.

"I guess we could try?" It sounded more like a question than an answer.

"Don't burst a blood vessel if you don't want to I get it. I'm not Caleb."

"No Jared please don't think that. I love you, you know I do, I'm just afraid. What if something happens and we can't protect them?"

"I promise I will protect our family with my life, no one else gets taken."

"Ok."

"Ok?"

"Yes, I would love to have a family with you." I giggle when he nuzzles my neck.

"I'm glad I don't have to poke holes in any condoms."

"Goodnight Jared." I roll my eyes.

"Night baby, love you." He replies sleepily.

"I love you too." I murmur letting my heavy eyelids close.

(Glows with the ember's POV)

"Hey," Analee greets Wanderer and I. Neither of us responds unable to look away from the gun in her left hand. "What? Oh this yeah I guess it's silly but Jeb insisted I take it. Well come on," she smiles.

"Where are we going?" Wanderer asks rising to her feet.

"I'm taking you two for a tour of the caves and I'd like to take this time to apologize for Ian and Kyle. They don't normally try to strangle people." She says.

We make no attempt to reply.

"That was supposed to be funny," she informs us. Then there is an awkward pause. "So," she clears her throat, "what should I call you?"

"Call me Wanderer."

"Wanderer," Analee repeats testing out the name on her tongue. "That's very beautiful."

"Thank you," Wanderer blushes a deep scarlet and averts her eyes.

"Sorry I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable."

"No it's not that it's just…this body likes you very much."

"Oh." Now it's Analee's turn to blush.

"I'm Glows with the embers." I tell her.

"That's pretty bad ass," she winks at me and I feel my pants become slightly tighter in my groin.

"Dude you're totally getting a boner," Caleb laughs.

"What do I do?"

"Nothing she hasn't seen before."

"He's talking to you isn't he?" Analee stepped forward clutching my hands desperately.

I nod once swallowing hard at her proximity, she smells like-

"Honeysuckles," Caleb finishes for me.

"Can I shorten that a little?"

"What do you have in mind?" I wonder.

"I don't know how about Embers?" She asked.

"Embers?"

"Yeah." She flashes me her pearly white teeth.

"That's perfect." At this point I would say anything to please her.

"Good, I think it suits you well." She says kindly before turning on her heels and leading us down the tunnel. We tour the kitchen, wheat fields and rooms before she takes us to a dimly lit room. "So this where we take baths, I brought you guys some towels and clean clothes."

Wanderer looks to me with wide eyes.

"Oh you can do it separately, don't worry I scheduled us for an hour. I want to rinse off too."

Once the three of us were done we made our way toward the exit. "Makes you feel like a human being again doesn't it?" Jeb says appearing seemingly from thin air.

"Uncle Jeb," Analee scolds.

"Bad joke," he apologizes with a grin as she slaps in the back of the head. "Hey now," he laughs holding up his hands to her in a sign of surrender. "Jared asked me to come relieve you from your watch duties."

"Why?" Her eyebrows pull together in a confused expression.

"I gave him the day off so you two could do some math."

"Math?"

"You know, work on our number," he winked.

"Oh my god," she screeched covering her face with both hands. "We don't need any time off to work on our…_long division_."

"Long division? Is that what the kids are calling it these days?"

With that she stormed out of the washroom.

"Well I'll be damned." Caleb snorted.

"What?"

"He's trying to knock her up."

"He's going to hit her?"

"No, it means he's trying to get her pregnant."

"Oh," I sigh only partially relieved.

"That should have been me," he adds longingly.

"I'll show you to your cells, try not to get lost, these tunnels can be confusing at times." Jeb changes the subject.

Wanderer reaches down and grabs my hand and gives it a reassuring squeeze before dropping it again. "Not Wanderer, that was Melanie." Caleb tells me.

"How do you know?"

"Just do."

Then I'm drifting into another memory of a happier, simpler time.

_"This is special, like a totally monumental moment in my life. Are you sure you're ready to shoulder that kind of responsibility?" Analee smiles._

_"It means you're mine forever." Caleb whispers lovingly into her ear._

_"Forever," she agreed running her soft hands along his arms._

_"Are you ready?" He asks, gently pressing the head of his penis against her entrance._

_"Yes," she replied shakily._

_"Don't be afraid." He murmurs sliding further into her slick warmth. She sucking in a deep breath and squeezed her eyes shut reaching forward to still his hips with her trembling hands. "Do you need to stop?"_

_"I don't know," she says her sweet green eyes filling with unshed tears._

_"Please don't cry," Caleb begs._

_"I'm sorry."_

_"Here, give me your hands," he says and she holds them up, lacing their fingers together he holds them comfortingly yet restraining on either side of her head. "Now relax all your muscles." Analee obeys letting her legs fall to the bed around his hips. "Our love it was stronger by far than the love of those who were older than we, of many far wiser than we. And neither the angels in Heaven above nor the demons down under the sea can ever dissever my soul from the soul of the beautiful Annabel Lee." Caleb quoted Edgar Allen Poe as he pushed fully into her and they became one in the purest of ways._

_"How poetic," she winced, still clearly uncomfortable._

"I didn't mean for you to see that," Caleb tells me. But I remain silent. "What's the matter are the memories too painful?" He taunts.

"Leave me alone."

"I wish I could." He scoffs.

"How can you share her with him if you love her that much?" I ask.

"I don't just love her, I love Melanie but I'm obsessed with Analee. I need her like air to breathe, I cannot live without her. Jared was a just an afterthought, because as long as she loves me everything she does with him is irrelevant."

"Humans are the most confusing creatures I've ever known."


	4. I know exactly how you feel

(Analee's POV)

"Babe," Jared murmured low in my ear.

"Hmm," I grumble tiredly rubbing my eyes.

"I've gotta go. The guys are waiting for me." He informs me, pushing a stray curl behind my ear.

"I fell asleep?"

"Mhm, I think I wore you out," he smirks seductively.

"That you did, how long will you be gone?"

"Just a standard raid so no more than a week."

"Ok," I sigh. "I'll miss you."

"I'll miss you too babygirl but when I get back…" he trails off walking his fingers down the valley between my still naked breasts.

"Yeah, yeah get lost perv." I tease slapping his hand away.

"I'm going, I'm going," he chuckled climbing out of the messy bed and throwing on his clothes. Kissing me once on the lips then on my forehead he exits the room and rushes to meet the others. After about twenty minutes of lazy stretching I slip into my outfit from this morning and venture out into the tunnel.

"Have you seen Jamie?" I ask Maggie as I help chop vegetables in the kitchen.

"No but I've got it covered in here if you want to go look for him," she smiles warmly.

"Ok?" I reply leaving the kitchen. I've known Maggie for over a year and never has she ever smiled at me or even in my presence. What the hell is going on? Does she know that Jared and I are listening to her advice about repopulation or did I miss the second apocalypse? I push the thought to the back of my mind and head to his secret place where he goes when he want to be alone. "Jamie," I whisper into the dimly lit room.

"Yeah," he calls back as softly as possible. I walk through the dark entrance and sit down next to him looking up at the wall of glow worms.

"What are you doing in here?"

"Just thinking, I heard something Uncle Jeb said earlier to Wanda."

"Wanda?"

"Yeah that's what everyone is calling her now, well everyone that calls her by a name."

"What did he say?"

"He thinks Melanie is still alive, in there with her and Caleb too. What do you think?" He asks innocently.

"Mel promised to come back right?"

"Yeah."

"I think she did," I smile and he grins back at me.

"There was something else."

"What?" I wonder.

"You loved Melanie didn't you?"

"Yeah just like you do."

"No I mean you_ really_ loved her."

"Oh," I pause unsure of how to respond.

"It's ok, I'm not a kid. You can tell me."

"She's very special to me. I miss her a lot." I tell him truthfully.

"She loves you a lot, just like she loves Jared."

"She told you that?"

"No Wanda did. She says Melanie came back because she loves us so much that she didn't give up like most humans."

"You know who else I love?" I ask changing the subject to a more comfortable one.

"Who?"

"You," I reach out to tickle him and he laughs so hard the glow worms stop shinning. In this moment my heart clenches almost painfully with excitement at the possibility of being pregnant, I want a child just like this. I'm ready for this I realize.

"Stop," he manages to gasp out in between fits of giggles and I drop my hands and we move back to sitting positions.

(Wanda's POV)

_"Hey beautiful," Melanie calls from the door way taking in her lover's electric blue bra and pantie set._

_"Hey," Analee smiles in return setting the book she had been reading aside._

_"So the boys are away and Jamie is sleeping." Melanie informs her._

_"I get you all to myself then?"_

_"Yep," Melanie pops the p playfully._

_"Come here." The blonde pats the empty spot on the bed beside her. Melanie obliges striding toward her sensually. "I love this dress on you but I get the feeling I'll love it even more off of you." Then Mel's dress joined Analee's clothes on the floor of the trailer. She quickly climbs on top of Analee wearing only her white cotton panties as the dress had not required a bra. Analee's hands are immediately on Melanie's breasts massaging and tugging her pink nipples until they harden almost painfully, tangling her fingers in Analee's hair she pulls her lips to her's while she began rubbing herself against Ana's thigh. Once they had successfully stripped each other Analee flipped Mel onto her back and caressed her smooth legs before kissing her mound then moving down to her wet lower lips. Spreading them with practiced fingers she licked from Melanie's tight hole to her swollen clit causing Mel to moan loudly._

_"God I love you," Mel groaned tugging Analee's ringlets in a way that looked painful but that only encouraged her to lap at her lover faster and add two fingers into the mix causing Melanie arch her back off the bed shuddering in release while praising Analee's talented tongue. "Why are you so good at that?"_

_"I live to please." Analee replies licking her now swollen lips._

_"Well do you have any objection to me returning the favor," Melanie teased arching an eyebrow._

_"Of course not."_

I spring up into a sitting position still breathing heavily from the unwelcome dream; I quickly use the restroom splashing cold water on my overheated face and return to bed but I can't seem to let sleep reclaim me. The ache between my legs is almost as unbearable as my heart's instinctive need to go to her. "It's just the body," I whisper to myself. Trying to control human emotions is a nightmare.

"How do you think I feel?" Melanie says snidely.

"I know exactly how you feel, that's the problem."


	5. The body or the soul?

(Glows with the Ember's POV)

"Good morning." Analee calls pulling back the curtain used as a door. I groan rubbing my eyes it's too early for someone to be so chipper.

"What's the matter?" I grumble, sleep still evident in my voice.

"The wheat's ready to harvest boyfriend. We're working in the East field." She informs me leaning against the wall. I take in her khaki shorts that stop mid-thigh and pink baby doll top that shows it's age at the frayed seams edges. Her blonde ringlets are pulled loosely into a high pony tail atop her head.

Once I finally pull myself out of bed and use the restroom I follow her into the indoor field were almost everyone in the caves is already working I notice a few people missing, one in particular being Jared. I suppose a relieved expression crossed my face because Analee chuckled handing me a curved sharp looking tool.

"He's not here; he and the others went out to get supplies they left almost a week ago I'm surprised you didn't notice sooner." She tells me. "So do you wanna talk or are you the, I work in total silence type?" She teases beginning to cut down the stalks and pile them beside her.

"I'd like to talk if you don't mind."

"I don't mind," she smiles warmly.

"Cool," I reply stupidly.

"Cool," she giggles returning to her work.

Clumsily I begin trying to cut quickly but much to my dismay I miss all together. "Relax," she reaches out and places her soft hand over mine reassuringly. "It's not a race."

"I just want to do well, maybe then more people will…"

"Accept you?" She finishes for me.

"Yes."

"Don't worry about them, they'll come around and the ones that don't aren't worth your time." She says.

Slowly I begin cutting for a second time only now I take my time and I clear most of the area.

"Can I ask you something?" She asks looking across the wheat toward where Wanderer and Ian stood talking.

"Anything."

"Do they seem a little cozy to you?" She motions to them.

"I guess so."

"Do you think he likes her, Wanda?"

"I suppose but I assume he's more attracted to the body." I offer.

Her smile dropped and her eyebrows pulled together.

"You shouldn't have said that," Caleb chuckles at her expression.

"I just meant that…if he could see her, in her true form. Nothing more than a glowing orb with tentacles he could hold in the palm of his hand who couldn't communicate he wouldn't be interested he would be disgusted and crush her." I tell her.

"You can't know that."

"Yes I can because you would do the same."

"No I wouldn't," she argues.

"And why not?" I challenge.

"Because any part of Caleb is important to me and because you are now a part of him I will keep you safe besides I consider you my friend." She says as if it's that simple.

"Your friend?"

"Yes. And last time I checked friends don't squish other friends," she teases turning back to her work.

"She's special." I whisper.

"Yes she is, and I would give anything to touch her with my own hands to speak to her with my own voice, but I can't and I know I never will be able to that's the worst part about all of this. She hurts I hurt." Caleb replies.

"I'm sorry I took her from you."

"It's not your fault unless you picked this body."

"No, I don't have that kind of authority."

"See then it's not your fault, besides you brought me close to her. That's more than enough. I can live like this without being completely miserable." He tells me.

"Mirrors, mirrors!" Jeb shouts pulling me from the internal conversation and I can hear the faint sound of the seekers helicopter as I run after Analee to the closest wheel and begin spastically helping her turn it. The mirrors above begin slowly turning in and finally our wheel locks symbolizing that they are fully out of view to the outside world.

"Thanks," she breathes out heavily trying to catch her breath.

"Anytime."

"Analee!" Jamie calls limping over to her.

"What happened?" She demands crouching down to investigate his wounded leg.

"I missed the stalk and got my leg." He explains.

"Come on let's take you to Doc, he'll fix you up," she says gently leading him toward one of the tunnels.

"You're going to be a great mom, baby," Caleb says almost willing her to hear him. And as if she does she turns to smile sadly and wave at us before disappearing out of view.

(Analee's POV)

I stay with Jamie as Doc cleans and bandages his leg, when he's done he hops off the table with new found energy.

"Let's go get lunch," he says excitedly.

"Ok," I chuckle at his eagerness but I can't get my mind off of the terrible things that will happen to those poor souls in Doc's office once the boys return with more hosts. I can't tell Embers or Wanda and I pray to God they never find out.

"How many planets have life?" Jeb asks Wanda as we take our normal seats at the table only now Ian has joined us sitting beside Wanda.

"Twelve that we know of," she replies, "four I've never been to."

"Fire world being the best," Embers teases.

"We've just opened up a new world," she says bumping his shoulder with hers but otherwise ignoring hos comment.

"You've conquered twelve planets?" Wes asks.

"That's not how we see it," Wanda explains. "We've always lived by bonding with the other species, that is how we survive, we try to live in harmony."

Ian is looking rather affectionately at her and I clear my throat.

"If you don't mind me asking how old are you?" Doc wonders.

"Over a thousand of your years. I have not completed one full revolution of your sun but I've found that earth is the most beautiful and hardest planet I've ever been to." She replies the edges of her mouth turning up.

"This is some of the most interesting conversation I've had in a while," Jeb adds.

"What the hell is this?" Jared demands entering the room. The part of me that is relieved to see him is over ridden by my fear of what he's going to do next. "This has gone on long enough," he snarls grabbing Jebs abandon riffle from the corner and charging towards Wanda and Embers. Reflexively Jeb stands to reason with him but I bet him to it.

"Jared stop," I say trying to calm him by placing both hands on his heaving chest.

"Get out of the way Analee."

"Or what are you gonna shoot me? Go ahead."

"Analee listen to me Aaron and Brad are dead because of the seeker looking for them, they almost got us too." He's still trying to get a clear shot at Wanda behind me.

"Wait!" Jamie protests, "you can't kill Wanda."

"Why not?"

"Because if you kill Wanda you kill Melanie."

With that Jared falters letting the gun drop to his side. "This is your fault," he snarls at me. "Now everybody believes you so I hope you're not wrong."

"Jared," I sigh reaching out to touch his face but he slaps my hand away.

"You've made your bed now lie in it," his tone is accusing as he storms out of the room. Everyone except Ian, Jeb, Wanda, Caleb, and I leave the room one by one.

"I'm sorry I'll go back to my cell," Wanda apologizes.

"This wasn't your fault," I assure her as does Jeb.

"You're welcome in my room." Ian offers somewhat awkwardly.

"You tried to kill me and now you're protecting me?" Wanda says slightly confused.

"It's a strange world isn't it?" He counters with a lopsided grin.

"The strangest," she replies looking down at the floor.

I look to Embers and we exchange a knowing smile as we follow Ian to his place.

(Glows with the Embers POV)

"He's not always like that," Caleb says trying to ease some of my anger toward Jared. This is all so confusing, I've never been jealous before, I've never been angry before because souls aren't supposed to feel that way. For us it's easy, we find another soul we are attracted to and then stay with them from planet to planet but never feel these emotions, we simply are what we are.

"Where does he get off yelling at her like that?"

"It's just because he loves her."

"He's got a real funny way of showing it."

"He keeps her safe at all expenses even if he compromises their relationship in the process because he'd rather have her alive and pissed than dead." He tells me.

"You trust him?"

"Yes, Jared's a good guy when he's not being a total ass," Caleb snorts as I watch Wanderer tinker with random objects in Ian's room.

"If you say so."

(Analee's POV)

"Can I talk to you about something?" I say to Ian after sitting outside his door in silence for a long while.

"Sure?" He replied sounding more like a question than answer.

"I know we haven't really talked much like…ever but I just have to ask. What's going on with you and Wanda?"

"N-nothing really I mean I like her, a lot but this entire situation isn't exactly normal not to mention confusing as hell." He stumbles over the words of the painfully uncomfortable topic.

"I just want to make sure it's Wanda that you're interested in and not Mel. I don't mean to make you uncomfortable but-"

"It's definitely Wanda, not to sound rude but I don't know anything about Melanie except what I've heard from other people and it's not the body but the way Wanda uses it, she makes it beautiful without her inside it would just be a body to me, again no offence." He says cutting me off.

"None taken," I smile pleased with his answer.


	6. What is too much?

(Wanderer's POV)

"I think he likes you too much," Melanie says somewhat displeased after overhearing Ian and Analee's conversation.

"What is too much?" I wonder aloud and Glows with the embers looks at me with a confused expression due to my sudden outburst. I smile politely but don't say anything to him about my internal accidently turned external conversation.

"If I have it my way you'll never find out." She adds falling back into one of her old memories.

Caleb is over top of her moving sporadically inside her while kissing down her neck, this feeling is so different from her other memories with Analee and Jared but just as enjoyable. In all my lives I have never felt this way, completely overwhelmed but at the same time never wanting it to stop. My species only have one mate and I think I prefer it that way because I can only imagine myself engaging in such an intimate act with one being, who conveniently enough was not of my species. Ian, the thought of it makes my cheeks burn. However whenever I was near any of Melanie's former lovers there was a pull. That's the only way I can describe this foreign feeling, my stomach feels…

"We call them butterflies." Melanie interrupts.

"Butterflies? In your stomach?"

"Yes," she laughs, "but it's just an expression."

"Oh ok," I sigh in relief. And when they look at me my heart wants to pound out of my chest.

"That's love." She clarifies. "That's exactly what it feels like."

"Love? Do I love Ian? Does he love me?" I ask her.

"I think so."

"So should I mate with him? That's what you do when you love someone."

"NO! NO! That is what I meant by too much," Melanie shouts.

"Then what do I do?"

"You just…I don't know but you don't sleep with him."

"But how would it work if you want to get married or have kids?"

"We didn't really talk about it we all just love each other and whatever happens, happens."

(Analee's POV)

"Well this room sure is a lot more crowded than it was last night," Ian says referring to the fact that there is only one bed and four of us.

"Analee can sleep in my room." Embers offers somehow knowing that I don't want to go back to my own.

"Wanda can sleep with me." Ian says and her eyes widen almost comically. "No that's not what I meant I was just trying to say that you can stay here. I will sleep on the floor and you can take the bed." He explains.

"Ok well if Jared comes-"

"I will keep her safe." He assures me.

"Good night I guess, see you tomorrow." I nod turning to leave the room with Embers in tow.

"The bed is all yours," Embers declared perching himself on the dirty floor.

"Thank you," I smile at him and now more than ever all I can see is Caleb. He must feel it too because suddenly he is leaning toward me slowly. "Say my name."

"Analee," he replies hoarsely as our lips touch.

"Tell me you love me." I plead pathetically.

"I do love you baby, I love you so much." I'm not sure if it's Caleb or Embers who replied and at this point I'm far beyond caring because I can pretend it's just Caleb and with my eyes closed it's impossible to tell the difference. "I have to ask Caleb something." I blurt out breaking the kiss.

"He's listening," Embers assures me.

"Will you sleep with me?"

(Caleb's POV)

The question throws me for a loop, holy shit she wants to sleep with me right her and now not that I'd mind if it weren't for the fact that everything I feel Embers will feel. Given the fact that he already has a crush on her this might be the straw that broke the camel's back. If he falls in love with her If, he hasn't already he might never want to find a new host even if he could and if he did he might still want to be with her. "Tell her that I want to, I mean I really, really want to but I can't. This can't work as long as we share this body I can't be with her, not now not ever." I tell him.

"You'll break her heart," he warns.

"I don't have a choice," I sigh and I fear for the first time that he might betray me.

"I can't," he whispers gently pulling away from her. "I'm sorry," he says taking in her crest fallen expression.

"I know," she chokes out turning towards the wall and away from us.

"Just hold her," I tell him and he does, climbing into the small cot behind her and wrapping her in his arms, my arms.

"Caleb, I miss you so much. Please don't leave, please stay with me. I need you." She sobs into my chest as Embers strokes her soft curls.

"You're going to be ok. You're strong." He murmurs, these are his own words not mine this time.

"No I'm not, not without you."

"I'm here baby, in every way I can be." I want to tell her so badly.

"Why couldn't it have been me instead of you?" She sniffles.

"Don't say that, don't ever say that." I growl as if she can hear me.

"I would give anything. I would give anything." She blubbers so hard that it's almost impossible to understand her.

"What do I do?" Embers asks.

"There's nothing you can do." I say truthfully. Eventually she cries herself to sleep and for once I'm grateful for the heavy silence between Embers and I because there was nothing we could say that would change anything.

(Jared's POV)

_Melanie and I lie on the satin sheets of our new found bed; the canopy around us filters the light from the lamp in the corner. She leans cross my naked chest and begins kissing me again with renewed vigor, after resting for a few minutes she was ready for round two and so was I. Mel was all I could see all I could feel she was all around me, engrossing me, consuming me, loving me._

I jolt upright out of my sleep to find myself still alone in bed and part of me way expecting that the other part hoped that she would just come home to me so I didn't have to apologize but I realize that she's probably a little confused about where we stand. I didn't mean to be an asshole but I'm just so angry, having those things here parading around in their bodies only makes me miss Melanie more, her body was here but she wasn't. But in the event that Analee was right and Mel is trapped in there, there was only one way to find out and I will first thing in the morning.

(Analee's POV)

I pull back the door Ian's room after receiving a tired, "Come in." and find the two of them holding hands. He on the floor and she in the bed still asleep.

"I know Jared will be back around soon and I honestly don't know where his head is right now so I just feel better being close, in case you need me." I tell him.

"Ok." He agrees pulling himself together and joining me on watch duty in front of his door leaving Wanda and Embers safe inside. About ten minutes later low and behold here comes Jared, his hair is sticking up in all directions tell me he has been constantly running his finger threw it, his eyes were blood shot with bag beneath them.

"Jared," I stand protectively in the door way.

"Look I know it's in there, I just wanna talk to it." He says in an almost crazed state.

"I will talk to him," Wanda says from behind us.

"Ok, we'll be right outside if you need us," I reply as Embers comes to stand beside me and Jared begins to enter the room but stops when Ian catches his arm.

"Her name is Wanda, not it," he growls before releasing him.

"Mel you're really in there? You hit me for kissing you. Mel I love you, I know you can't say it back but I love you," I hear Jared say after a long moment and the next thing I know Wanda is running out of the room. Ian moves to follow her.

"Let her go," I say gently and he nods scratching the back of his neck.

"Come walk with me," Jared's eyes are pleading as he holds a hand out to me. I say nothing but step forward and grab it, lacing our fingers together in an attempt to tether him to me, to make him see. "Where did you sleep last night?"

"With Embers, Ian's room was too small for all of us." I explain.

"Why didn't you come home?"

"I didn't think you wanted me to."

"I did, you know before they got here no matter how bad we fought you would always come back to me… that was all we had to keep us sane. Now that's gone too."

"Jared yesterday you looked at me like you _hated_ me. I was afraid you were going to…" I trail off unable to finish.

"Hurt you?"

"No, leave me."

He laughs, "Don't you realize how much you mean to me? How much I love you? How badly I need you?" He says as though it's the most obvious thing in the world.

"You've never told me that," I whisper leaning into his palm when he caresses my cheek.

"I meant to," he mutters sealing his lips over mine pinning me to the raid vehicle behind us. "I want you right here."

"What if someone sees us?"

"No one comes down here unless they have to," he says nipping at my earlobe.

"Ok," I sigh in defeat.

"Wanderer and Kyle got into a fight, she's at Doc's." Embers interrupts us.

"You've got to be fucking kidding me," Jared growls kissing me gently on the forehead before sprinting down the hallway.

"I'm sorry, I should have waited," Embers apologizes.

"No, thank you for finding us," I smile keeping up my brisk pace. When I finally get to the hospital Jared and Ian are standing on either side of Wanda. "What happened?" I demand taking in her soaking clothes and hair.

"It was an accident, Kyle slipped," she lies.

"If that's what it says happened-"

"Oh give it a rest Maggie," I snap back cutting her off.

"We all know what happened, Kyle tried to kill her and for some reason she saved his sorry ass," Ian says.

"If that's true Kyle you're out." Jeb adds.

Wanda remains silent.

"It's not saying he did," Maggie snarls defensively. I glare at her.

"You're the one that has to live under the same roof as him." Jeb replies dropping the subject.

Jared pulls Jeb and I aside. "I have to go back out."

"No," I protest quietly.

"She's right Jared, too many seekers." Jeb agrees.

"We lost a lot of stuff on that last run beside there are a couple of things I need," He whispers softly flickering his eyes up to Wanda.

"Fine," Jeb nods.

"I'm going with you," I tell him and he nods knowing I'm not going to back down.

"Be safe," Jeb calls after us.


End file.
